Extract: How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips by Simon Yeats

How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro

 

About the book, How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio De Janeiro by Singing Songs from the Police How to Avoid Book 2
and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (December 2, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 250 pages

Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Bubonic Plague in the 1300s.

From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to lose an eye or damage your liver.

Buy, read, and discuss this book:

Amazon (US) | Amazon (UK) | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads


About the author, Simon Yeats How to Avoid author image

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Connect with Simon:

Instagram | Tiktok


Read an Extract from How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio…

I spend my first night in the USA, in a downtown Los Angeles motel, wrapped in a wet blanket of fear, dismayed I have been dropped onto the set of a dystopian film. The land of the free and the home of always needing to defend myself with a gun. In November 1988, I was only 20. Timid and naïve, but taking life by the short and curlys, venturing to another country on my own. In a group, but by myself in that group. Everyone else on the university work exchange heads to the US that Northern Hemisphere winter/Southern Hemisphere summer with a companion. Except for one other guy in the 30 strong party, Dohers. I will get to him later. This is my coming-of-age experiment. I will have to dig deep inside me to find the character to survive three months in the US, or else I will turn tail and jump on the first plane home.

On that first night in the city of angels, a return flight was looking awfully tempting.

Our downtown motel looks like a block from Skid Row. I had never seen a homeless person before in my life. I naively thought that spending 20 minutes sitting on the sidewalk at the end of my parent’s driveway when I ran away from home qualified as having been homeless for periods of my youth. Every time I venture out to go to the nearby diner to eat, I am evading homeless people pushing shopping carts like a game of Frogger.

Making the USA my first port of call as an independent overseas traveler, after just one week-long ski trip to Thredbo on the solo, is as nerve-wracking as being asked to fill in on lead guitar for The Rolling Stones after one guitar lesson.

“Hey kid. I heard you plucking on those strings, and you’ve got potential. I need you to fill in on the opening night of The Stones’ Voodoo Lounge Tour in Springfield. Keith Richards has…”

“… Keith Richards has died?”

“Keith Richards. Dead? Fuck no. That bastard will still be kicking long after you are pushing up daisies, my friend. No, Keith wanted to be at the birth of his 76th illegitimate child, so he asked if I could find a replacement for him for the one night.”

“Wow. Do you think I am up for it?”

“Not by a long shot. But Mick Jagger will get a kick out of watching you squirm.”


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